A scrappy end to a scrappy year

Three hours more to the end of the Year of the Fire Dog 2006. I've just finished reunion dinner at my parents' place and will be out hitting the clubs soon. So I'm taking this time of quiet in between to reflect on what a year it's been.

Every time CNY rolls around, I dutifully scour the web for horoscope predictions for the coming year. Looking through what was written last year, I've realised that I read these things really quite selectively. I can remember reading the good stuff ("The Rat can expect much success at work this busy and satisfying year, with all the financial renumeration that entails. Although he feels oppressed by his many obligations, he industriously fulfills them."), but I definitely filtered out the negative stuff and the warnings ("However, a new love affair brings tension and the threat of a painful breakup unless the Rat learns to listen, becomes more giving, and exercises tolerance and understanding of his partner's real needs.").

This year, I'm reading through the predictions more carefully. I've read maybe 10 of them so far, with some common themes emerging:
(a) success in business and career,
(b) expansion of social networks, especially business contacts and friends, and
(c) a love affair that will excite me, but also "fog my usually clear mind" (haha).

In any case, I'm glad the Dog year is coming to an end. Although it's true that I've had a very full year with plenty of new experiences and accomplishments (I've learnt a lot at work this year), romantically it's been pretty much quite dire. And in this area, the Dog reared its ugly head even as the last days of the year ran out.

E. and I broke up about a week ago after I came back from Hongkong. Although I like him very much and still think there is some potential for us later, I'm clearly not ready yet for another relationship. Maybe it's because I'm not totally over the hump with the break-up with C. yet, but there's also a part of me that wants to play on, and this isn't really the right attitude for a relationship. I think E. probably realises all of this, but he perhaps cannot accept what this translates to on a daily basis (infidelities, for example). He feels deeply about love and relationships and is entitled to have one with someone who will give him what he wants and deserves. Maybe that person, right now, isn't me.

Feeling a little emotional on Valentine's Day, I emailed C.'s new guy E. to remind him how precious C. is (at least to me), attaching the V-Day tribute I wrote C. last year. This started an exchange of messages between us. I heard from friends that E. has been wanting to "make peace" between us, so I think he took this opportunity to try to reach out to me. I'm not sure if he succeeded, because though he put things nicely and apologised for causing me hurt, he also ended up lecturing me about love.

Maybe I'm just being bitchy and unkind to him. But I just find it a little disturbing that someone is telling his boyfriend's ex that he (a) got dumped and (b) cannot get over it, because he is (unlike me) selfish, weak and muddled about life and love. I'll assume that he means well (being a graduate of the Landmark Forum and all), but there is also every possibility (given what people have told me about him) that this is just power play on his part.

Anyway, a tumultous end to a tumultous year. Bring on the Fire Pig. Oink!

It's All True

Apologies to readers of this blog who are sick and tired of music-related posts -- this is, unfortunately, another one of them.

But it's worth every little kilobyte it's using up in cyberspace because TRACEY THORN IS BACK!!!! Not guesting with Massive Attack, Tiefschwarz or some other trendy dance outfit, but WITH AN ENTIRE SOLO ALBUM!!! And to think this momentous moment ALMOST passed me by had J. not mentioned it to me on Thursday and burnt me a digital copy of her new single he bought from the Japan iTunes store.



Of course, "It's All True" is TOTALLY SPLENDIFOROUSLY BRILLIANT... as if there was ever a doubt. There's a mid-80s Jellybean-style synth riff and delicious Yazoo-style chunky electro arpeggios. There are sad Massive Attack strings in the chorus and that voice (that voice!) is as effortlessly emotive as ever. I can't wait for the album "Out Of The Woods" which is out on March 5th. And I will listen only to 1 or 2 tracks at a time, because an overdose of sheer perfection will somehow deduct from sheer perfection itself haha.

Of course, Ben Watt is also off doing his own solo project, setting up some friendly competition between the two of them. Check out what Tracey blogged on MySpace (I, of course, have already read and re-read it several times):

"Meanwhile, back at home, Ben and I have a new game, which should be called Competitive Airplay, or something. His first release on his new alt-rock label, strange feeling, is a track by the Figurines called Silver Ponds. It's going very well so far, so we have these conversations at dinner, which are very polite and mutually supportive, but with a subtle, and hilarious, edge, only detectable to each other.
Ben: So we got 3 plays on Steve Lamacq this week.
Me: Wow, that's fantastic.
(Pause)
Me: My video is going down very well at MTV
Ben : Great news!
(Pause)
Ben :So. Did I tell you? The band are doing a session for xfm?
Me : Fantastic.
(Pause)
Me : Dixon is really playing the Martin Buttrich remix of Its All True apparently!
Ben : That's excellent.
And so on, and so on.....
We need a pencil and paper to keep score really.
You can play too, all you need is a partner or friend who does the same, or similar, job that you do, and you compare recent successes! Good luck to you. May the best man win."

On another note, it's almost coming up to the New Year and I really need to do some spring cleaning, maybe in more ways than one. I think it starts with actually buying, and using, a mop.