Jarvis returns

This morning, I was listening (for the first time) to Jarvis Cocker's excellent new CD "Jarvis". I was ironing my shirt (how very "Pulp")when this truly amazing song came on:

"Fat Children"
Jarvis Cocker

Last night I had a little altercation

They wobbled menacingly beneath the yellow street light
It became a situation
Well, they wanted my brand-new phone with all the pictures of the kids and the wife
A struggle ensued and then fat children took my life

Fat children took my life
Fat children took my life
Fat children took my life

Well, some passers-by took me to the station
The police force was elsewhere,
putting bullets in some guy's head for no particular reason
So I died in the back of the cab
but I'll be back to haunt them
This thing does not end here
My spirit walks the streets of Tottenham

Singing:
Fat children took my life
Fat children took my life
Fat children took my life

Oh, the parents are the problem
Giving birth to maggots without the sense to become flies
So pander to your pampered little princess - of such enormous size
Oh.

Now that's what I call pithy haha...

Don't let the teardrops rust your shining heart

My other new obsession is with the word "emo". It's a word which, for now, exemplifies for me the dreaded generation gap. Everyone that's younger than me uses it. And I mean everyone - including steroided gym instructors in locker rooms.

It's also how I felt most of today - emo.
Yes, today quite emo...

Bright lights, big city

Today, for some inexplicable reason, I caught the property bug.

I was in D.'s car and we were going to Marina Mandarin for lunch. We took a weird route - exit at Balestier Road from the CTE and down Lavender Street to the new road that leads directly to Suntec. As we barrel down Lavender Street, I'm suddenly struck by this HUGE nearly-completed condo structure in front of me near the junction of Victoria Street. It's massive, I think to myself. Location not bad, and it's even got those trendy interlocking towers with the sky park and gym and whatever.

Later, intrigued, I asked my property reporters about it. Big mistake. Now I'm comparing psf prices every free moment of the day and doing mental calculations about whether I can afford a $1 million apartment at Capitaland's Citylights.

Anyway, the whole exercise has focused my thoughts on what I think are my essential "golden rules" of property buying in the current siao-ness that is the Singapore real estate market, which are (in no particular order of importance):

1. Must "can see the MRT station from the window"
Because Singapore's chronic taxi shortage problem ain't gonna be solved anytime soon. And expats' number one complaint about living in Singapore is still taxis. Oh, have to be careful these days which MRT station though [See point 5].

2. Must "can drive home from town in 5 or 10 mins"
This of course means that the apartment has to be (a) in town [See point 3] or (b) town-ish [i.e. just outside ERP gantries].

3. Cannot have insane price
None of those "new benchmark prices" for me thank you very much. Below $1,000 psf or even better, below $800 psf.

4. At least 1,000 sq ft, two bedrooms
Because people and tenants are so damn freakin rich these days, big is better. Big is also comfortable and less claustrophobic. Plus I can have a 6-foot marine tank.

5. Cannot "near foreign workers"
F. recommended City Square, which is at (aiyo) Kitchener Road. Next to Mustafa. CDL, which developed it, said that the giant development, which consists of a mall and a public park, will "rejunevate" the area (which is of course a sure signal that it is hopelessly downward-transition to start with). "Got cineplex below leh", she added. Wah liao. This only means the cineplex will screen Hindi movies, attracting even more foreign workers who will conveniently sit down and hang out at the "public park" downstairs of your home. Oh and apparently, City Square is also nearer the new Farrer Park MRT station. All I can say is: good luck getting out the doors. It's not a matter of being racist - I just don't wanna be chasing away half the Chinese buyers in town.

6. Preferably near "water" of some sort
This means seafront or riverfront. Or at least "can see sea or river from window".

Random unexplained aggression

RRRAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!! RARRRGH!!

*Rarrgghhh*

hehe :)