Going Mad in Selfridges

So, you take the escalator to a huge floor filled with trendy people and trendier clothes. There are separate sections for every desirable brand possible ("ooh look that's D-Squared, oh next to the Y-3 counter... and wah, the Evisu section is SO huge! etc etc"). Then in the middle of the room, a bargain section with about 20 rails stuffed to the max, with tags screaming 50 per cent off and 70 per cent off.

Then you go up to one of the rails that is packed with jeans of all sorts of sizes. And they are ALL Evisu, with some D-squared thrown in. You start rummaging through, a feeling of panic coming over you. There will never be enough time to look through everything, and you won't have enough money to buy everything that you want. You leave the bargain rails and walk around to the different mini-counters scattered throughout the store looking for some semblance of "shopping order". But near the G-Star counter are two bargain racks chock full of G-Star jeans, all going for about 60 per cent below the Singapore price. And they actually have sizes, and the short 30 inch length that fits you perfectly.

Dazed and slightly insane, you dive desperately into the endless racks of clothes just hoping for the best. But you are distracted because all around you there are the cutest, buffest guys - all gay and rich, and all looking equally crazed, with jeans and t-shirts heaped on their muscular tanned shoulders. There is just too much, too much to see. It's an overload of the senses, you think, as the realisation dawns upon your short-circuited brain that that pair of D-Squared cut-off jeans you put aside (they were too large - Size 36) will probably wake you from your sleep with a start tonight, as your subconsciousness feverishly churns every piece of clothing you saw and considered in your few hours in shopping nirvana.

I'm going back today...