Survivor WTO

What happens when you put 20 people from 20 different countries together in close proximity for 29 days AND have them talk about international trade all the time? Yes, you've guessed it -- Survivor-meets-WTO!! I kid you not, thank GOD for all those nights I spent learning watching people slug it out on desert islands, cos this is exactly what it feels like 4 days into our USA adventure.

A Survivor moment:

(12 of us walking the streets, trying to find the tube station that will get us to the Smithsonian.)

Mr Venezuela (the oldest, nicest and therefore the "leader"): "Come my children, follow pappa!"
Miss Nicaragua (leading the way): "That's the station! Just cross over..."
Mr Bahrain (mumbling): "This is not the right station." (Everyone ignores him)
Mr Singapore (me) to Mr Philippines: "Er... this is not the right station. We want Farragut West, not Farragut North."
Mr Philippines: "Oh, really? Someone better say then..." (keeps quiet)
Meanwhile, at Farragut North...
Miss Nicaragua: "Hmm, the station gates are closed. Maybe the subway isn't working on Saturday."
Mr Bahrain: "This is not the right station." (Everyone ignores him)
Mrs Oman (earnestly takes out subway guide): "No, it says the Metro is open from 6am to 12pm on Saturdays and Sundays..."
Miss Nicaragua: "Oh well if the subway is closed maybe we should take a bus..."
Mr Bahrain (louder now): "Of course the subway is open. How can it be closed on a weekend? Anyway, this is not the right station."
Mr Singapore to Mr Venezuela (pappa): "Uh, Bahrain is right. This station goes to Chinatown (pointing to map), you need Farragut West, the orange line..."
Mr Venezuela (shouting): "Okay guys, this is not the right station!"
Mr Bahrain (shouting now and leading the way): "That's what I've been trying to say!"
Miss Nicaragua: "But we are walking backwards to hotel, no?"
One block later...
Miss Nicaragua asks passer-by: "Excuse me, where is the subway?"
Fat black woman: "Right there!" (points across street. Right station this time, but gates are again closed.)
Miss Nicaragua: "So how can we get in? Is the subway open?"
Mrs Oman: "Yes, the subway is open. I just checked!"
Mr Bahrain: "Of course the subway is open. It's just that this exit is closed!"
Fat black woman: "You have to find another entrance, my dear."
Miss Nicaragua: "But where?"
Fat black woman: "Er, I don't know..."
Mr Bahrain to his sidekick, Mr Kuwait: "This is not the entrance we used yesterday. It's up there, right?"
Mr Kuwait: "Yes, yes."
One block later, we are at Farragut West entrance, with escalators going down.
Mr Bahrain: "You see! I told you... I think we need a new leader because Henrique (Mr Venezuela) always gives wrong directions!!"
Mr Venenuela, patting Mr Bahrain on back: "Yes, yes, Mr Bahrain..."
(and then to me...): "I think we need more discipline, Ignacio, like in your country. This crowd is very hard-to-control..."

As you can see, right now my "Survivor WTO" strategy is to "fly under the radar" and be helpful and nice to the people obviously in power (Venezuela, Nicaragua, Morocco -- who have dubbed me "The Bodyguard" haha) and collectively hiss at those who are clearly unpopular (Bahrain). Much like MFA's strategy really.

There was a classic WTO moment too, when all of us tried for half an hour to ratify Nigeria's suggestion that we have a special session to swap notes and ask questions about our respective countries). But that is a story for when I come back!